Hurray!! It’s one of those posts where I explain my lack of uploading pro/con reviews of the shows I’m watching (again)…
But, in all seriousness I feel a need. I explained in a post almost a week ago now that I had an insane weekend leading up to a holiday, so I hadn’t posted much of anything. Anyway, here’s another with a reasoning that slightly piggy-backs off the previous.
My mental health is fucked.
Whoa, I used language I try to avoid on my blog, but hear me out:
Last weekend I was completely drained from an intense work week, and with that I didn’t sleep more than 4 hours a night the entire week. After said work week I took a trip to see my mom, where I battled some summer (for all you South Hemisphere people–winter) bug and slept for about twenty, maybe twenty-one, hours in two nights. So yeah, I was a mess.
Well, I’m still a mess. I always am. Here’s where I get interesting (is that the right word?):
I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks.
Some main symptoms of GAD are: sleeplessness (slight insomnia?!); trouble staying asleep once it’s achieved (great…); fatigue (this might be why I drink two full pots of coffee every day to function like a normal person); persistent worrying (the reason this post exists?); and irritability.
Panic attacks are…well, panic attacks, and in me they tend to happen as a culmination of the symptoms listed above, which sucks. I usually end up hyper-ventilating, crying, shaking, and screaming at everything (and nothing) during these which is a real trip let me tell you! They’re fan-fucking-tastic.
I’m hoping to see my therapist (like an actual psychologist, a Ph.D in psychology and everything!) in the next week or two (my previous appointment had to be cancelled) and will probably get on some medication to help quell all this randomness that’s going on in my head.
So, like I said, I’m pretty much fucked. I’ll be posting sporadically until I can get myself back to normal–and that normal might take a few days, or weeks, or even a month–but I’ll be as active as I can. I’ll mainly be replying to posts, and interacting with you bloggers as much as I can (without feeling completely overwhelmed) while I try to heal my dumb brain up. I’ve still got a list of where I left off on my series reviews, so some episode reviews will be popping up with no set schedule for now (unlike what I had and still have planned).
Yeah, that’s a little bit about me if you wanted to know why I’ve been quiet this last week, and I figured it was about time I shared something of myself since I don’t remember ever doing that. I guess it makes me more open for conversation or something? I don’t know.
Again, sorry for my dumb brain and mental health issues, but it is what it is and I’m dealing with them! Gotta love it!