The Anxiety-Induced Breaks I Take

Hello all you wonderful people!

Yes, you who may read this. And you, that other person who may or may not be beside the person to click on this.

Once again, I’m in need of a break. I know I don’t post often, but my occasional post doesn’t usually slip by my main following (I cherish you all for that in whatever way you may take that.)

The last major break I took was some time last year I think. Around the time I was moving? So August of 2018… That was crazy stressful. This break, however, is another one of those breaks that comes from my anxiety. Those suck. The truth is: I’m overstimulated. I’ve been around people too often the last few weeks and it’s getting to me mentally.

Wait. What? That doesn’t make a lot of sense. People are life, right? People are supposed to be a good thing. Well, in my case, there has been a stretch of being around people for too long outside of work for me to deal with. I haven’t had a day to myself for a while now. I thought that yesterday (or today as I see it as I haven’t gone to sleep,) was going to be my day away from the world. As it happened, that was not the case. I was really looking forward to having a day where I could unwind and be alone, think for myself, and whatever else, but no… I had people show up, and I had to entertain them at my house for longer than I thought. Longer than I thought mean from about 5pm-2am…which was fun for a while, but eventually drained me.

So, I’m going to be taking a short break. I have some posts planned, so don’t worry about that, but they’ll be coming after the break. I expect this break to only last a short while, but until then, nothing will be coming from me. Not that it matters much since I don’t post a lot and don’t have a big following, but whatever. I need this break for my mental health, and in all honesty I’m pissed about it because I had about six posts planned. Yeah! SIX POSTS! That’s like a record amount for me!

I’m sorry y’all, but that’s where I’m at right now. I would like to be able to call you all friends, but there’s only one other person here I actually communicate with outside of WordPress and the occasional Twitter exchange that I feel comfortable calling a friend…

So, acquaintances: I’ll be gone for a while. I probably won’t like or reply to any blog post you put out because I’m going to try my best to stay away from everything. I need to get away. I need to do some things for myself. I need to step back, take a look at myself, figure out what it is I want to be doing right now, and just fucking do it. I need to unwind and uh….clear(?) my mental and emotional areas? Or….something.

In all honesty, all I want to do right now is write. I want to write blog posts, I want to write the novel I’ve been working on, and I want to figure out what it is that I need to fix the over-stimulation that I’ve been experiencing. I think part of that is getting away from “the world” so to speak, but I’m not really sure. It’s kind of a jumbled mess in my head right now and I’m freaking out a little bit…

So, with that, I’ll be stepping back for a few days to figure out what I need to do to re-align my mind and get back into a groove.

 

If you feel the need to ask how I’m doing you can always DM me on Twitter. That won’t bother me, but I probably won’t respond. Those kinds of messages, which I have received before, actually make me feel better and help me (which is hard to explain, so I won’t explain that–I do know, though, that my brain reacts differently at a chemical standpoint because of my anxiety. I don’t know the whole science behind it, though.) In the not responding vein, messaging me is on you, though, so take it however you want…

ALSO: for that one person who follows me on another social media platform with my Avatar: The Last Airbender name (you know who you are): I probably won’t respond… I am sorry about that.

 

And that’s about it from me. I hate these more than anyone, trust me, but I need this. I’m overstimulated right now. I have too much happening to know what to do, and I need to figure out what it is that I enjoy personally, how I can balance that with friends who for some reason show up at my house without my knowledge (like today, actually) and how I can move forward with the plans I have for my own writing time–be it blogging or writing a novel or poems or whatever.

 

I’m sorry everyone. This is something I need to deal with, and I don’t want you to worry, so don’t. I’ll be back when I feel better!

 

 

Thanks for reading!

Alexie 🙂